When last Your Humble Bloggist put finger to keyboard, the year was 2008, and I could read a menu without the aid of spectacles. 2011 finds me in a rather sad state of presbyopia. Don't hate me for using that word. It's my job, you know. Rather than lament the loss of ciliary muscle function and/or sclerosis of my lenticular protein, I have decided to chronicle for you my impressions of Doug Stern's Swimtacular Flash Mob. As always, I don't expect anyone to read all of this meandering bloggage. It is spectacularly forgettable now that I just reread what I wrote. The pictures are nice, but surely you have something better to do. Just please nod politely if I see you later and ask you if you liked it. I won't quiz you on the contents.
Flash Mob? How so?
What's the most somewhat unhinged thing to do in Curacao?
Torching women half your age on some ridiculous head-spinning suffer fest bike race? Fun, maybe. Shockingly superhuman, definitely.
A three hour run? Preposterous.
You might get bitten. Next time try a little sanity, will ya?
Acting as wingman for a Russian stud is not very sane. Especially unwise if you are 47 years old and have never spoken to a strange woman in a bar. And you are sober. True story.
"OK OK I'll go talk to that Dutch woman for you. Just don't make me do anymore kick sets!"
So there's this place called Cabana down from Mambo's. On Friday nights all of Dutch youth in Curacao seems to converge on this place, which was dishing up the most lively dance music imaginable. Only problem is, I don't think they have ever seen people dance before. All that technorap these kids today love, you know. A bunch of middle-aged Americans grooving? Could have been the zoo. Complete with utter strangers snapping photos. If you are a Dutch youth with photos of that evening please post them here. On second thought, only if you can crop out my sorry sweat-drenched self. Or maybe photoshop Dr. Doug Ross from "ER" in my place.
Here's an aside
These three people? Has there ever been a picture taken of any of them wherein they did not look positively smashing? I think not.
Pink swim caps rock
This is the place to show some impressive roommates
A culinary experience? That's something new.
Homemade mango salsa you say? Get outta town. Don enjoyed it, if these two pictures are any indication.
And what's with all these people who know their wine, anyway? A half second sniff to tell pinot grigio from chardonnay? Unheard of and a little scary. Who does that? Amuse-bouche? The hell is that? Foodies impress me.
Local foodery Augusto's has garlic bombs which you probably shouldn't get. Or eat their leftovers, apparently. You might end up having to stay over in Dallas, which can be unpleasant, but isn't always. Unpleasant, that is. I hear that it can be "surprisingly" awesome, although others know more about this than I do.
How to make the best of a fried clutch
I believe that Carlton possesses magical powers, but gravity and shearing forces prevailed this day.
After you stop retching from the smell, get out and push!
Bus mechanics are friendly
Walt is a true leader of men and master of his domain
What's the best thing to do in Curacao?
Having coffee at sunrise isn't bad.
How about posing at Knip?
OK, gents, that's just showing off. Put away those guns.
You do not have the opportunity to hear a Famous Author speak every day
Cliff-jumpers have more fun for sureA catamaran ride among the flying fish is pretty good.
Notice the American wearing the Sweden shirt and the Swede going all USA. That may not be interesting to you , but it is to me.
If babies could talk, I suspect they would tell you that they really like sitting on Daddy's lap watching Mommy swim.
Mommy in this case is a remarkable swimmer. And remarkable mommy, for that matter. I can tell. It's my job, you know. Dads rule too of course.
Playing guitar for Harvey after breakfast is great. He will praise even the most pitiful of fumble-fingered hackers. Then he will tell you about how he sent Neil Young to the minor leagues of the Canadian coffeehouse circuit in the '60s.
Those Cuban salsa songs go on for a real long time, but Andy and Sara are up to the task
I don't know what happened here but it was clearly fun
There's that too
OMG! Boggle! My guess is that this game has been contested more than any other word game on Klein Curacao. Somebody teach me how to play Bananagrams for crying out loud.
Have you ever seen a classier ostrich feeder? I didn't think so.
Making new friends is nice. Ahem.The Hidden Talents File
Whoa
In Salt Lake City there is no one better at displaying "cleavages". Who knew?Talented Dutch couple. Not much hidden, though.
The City Coach's hidden talent is avian communication
This would be the coach who can do the "YMCA" gestures on a long ride. Sometimes you just have to start singing the song for him. When you run out of verses to that, how about a sing-along of your high school alma mater? What I didn't know was that apparently not everyone ever learned the words to their high school alma mater."Hail, all hail, to old State High/Hail maroon and gray/To our alma mater fair/ we pledge all our lives for aye." Anyone who wants to learn, I'll teach it to you. The Official Offspring of the blog have known it since they were tots.
Dolphins=fun
Someday you should look at Asa's Facebook page. There are all these great posts in Swedish.
Swedish signs are very cool. What ensues is a selection from our rapid-fire Stockholm tour of 2009.
Here are 3 guys who do not need a bunch of cans to cause someone to think about six packs. There were some other people possessing nice cans at around the same time, but no one will share a picture of that with me for some reason.
Doesn't Sara remind you of Mother Earth? All goodness and light? Oh, I forgot about the Bad Mommies Club . Weeeeellllll.....still a F---ton of joy and warmth in that gal. You can impress her by telling her you like her braids.If you know me, and you probably do, you know that my favorite thing to do in Curacao is boat diving. I said it all those years ago in the pirate ship posting. You can look at it (2007?Was that really 4 years ago?) if you want to wade through the old pages of ridiculous anniversary haikus, New York travelblogs and birthdaypaloozas. Just skip all that. By now you know I can't write worth a darn. So just take my word for it that I mentioned that I love pirate ships and that they make good diving platforms where you can pretend to show off. Catamarans will do in a pinch
Those shadows on the boat are very well-aligned indeed.
This is the part where some smart alecky newbie waltzes in and snags the Doug Stern Memorial Photography Prize.
The kid's got some game
So what's it like cutting loose with people you haven't seen in between 6 months (thanks Kate for the Bar Tabac experience) and 30 years (can you say time warp)? You will all have your own opinions that range from "how do their families put up with these bizarre pseudoadults?" to "I have been through a scary and transformative experience-this is a memorable reward". Scary and transformative. Like presbyopia, you know.
For me, I embrace the mental health week with endorphin-fueled euphoria and gratitude to my fabulous and all-too-grown-up-and-ready-to-fly-the-coop offspring and joyous Breathing Partner for minding the pack at the ranch (1960 walkout ranch, that is).
A family surgical thing is about to happen. Cross your fingers for Dot's lateral meniscus, everyone!
Many thanks to Kelley, Lisa, Asa, and Jeannine for sharing their photos
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