Sternapalooza 2008


We Miss You, Doug Stern


Last year Doug Stern spoke proudly of a "family" that had formed under his leadership in response to a crisis for one of the members. In that spirit, and with a vast amount of work from Kate the Great and others, we assembled at that place he loved so much to do justice to the "Keep Moving" motto of Doug Stern, to come together to laugh and "play in the water", to grieve together a little, and to reconnect in the awesome surroundings of the paradise he had found for us.













Remember, as always, that if you want to go look at exploding Pepsi bottles on YouTube instead, I will not take it personally. The trailer for Juno is also really good. So is the movie. In fact, you really probably would be better off going to see a good movie than reading my ridiculous bloggage.


Not a Great Start
Yeah so there I was all set to meet some of my favorite people in Miami and fly to the island together on Friday night. Rum punches and such, you know. Only problem was a really twitchy plane in Dallas kept setting the alarms off, so we never got out of there in time and I got stuck in Miami overnight. Did you know Don Shula has a hotel? This was a surprise to me and (alarmingly) the Super Shuttle driver, who had several refugees from the wacky Dallas-Miami sickeningly delayed flight stuck in his van with no real idea how to get there. At least I was better off than the honeymooning couple who was supposed to be at an all-inclusive in Aruba and got to ride the Super Shuttle with Ramon and me to Don Shula's instead.


I knew I had to take an appropriate photo to commemorate this experience, so here it is.







I did not ever think I would be at Don Shula's hotel flipping through basic cable TV and landing on women's WWF wrestling, but there you have it. So not a great start to the trip or to the blog entry for that matter. I might edit this out. Really I probably should.


Remembering Doug Stern

Your Humble Bloggist arrived safely Saturday and felt the greetings from all of the Sternians to be perhaps just a touch more warm than ever. None of us knew that last year was the last time we would see Doug Stern there. So hello my friends, it's even more important that I show you how happy I am to see you.



We had planned a short session on the beach of talking about Doug Stern, and this was led off by the Official Famous Author Friend of the blog as eloquently as ever.





Is it appropriate to have beer during such a ceremony? I didn't know, but I think Doug Stern wouldn't have minded. To counteract the salt water taste, you know. I put it in my bike bottle as a compromise to the solemnity of the occasion. But Doug Stern was not a solemn person! You probably think that's kind of weird and you might be right.






Your Humble Bloggist was very happy to see the Famous Author running around with the youngsters, with a sense of high merriment, trying the new things our new fearless leaders had to show us.









A riotous escapade to the Ostrich Farm for ostrich dinner with said Famous Author gave us enough time to discuss unusual physiologic responses to being at uncomfortable heights, indoor 20,000 volt lights, Madame DeFarge and her resonance to beach knitters (not really!I'm joking! We love our beach knitters!), the curious resemblance of ostriches to enormous ballerinas, and many other erudite and relevant topics. Next time you see him, ask him to tell the grouper/dinoflagellate story. A corker!


Beach knitters are absolutely un-DeFargian.



Bus knitters are a little creepy though. Kidding!



Boris and Vlad Would Like You to Swim Properly Now








There is an animated Russian swim coach named Boris who stepped in to fill the big void. Vlad has an interesting mix of consonants in his name and is one of the nicest dudes ever. He's there too, and deserves our gratitude for his enthusiasm.

Let's use our shadows to examine our hand positions, everyone.

Try it with a pencil, and on a bench.

What are those cruise ship people thinking as they watch all this from their balcony staterooms? What are all those high elbows and flexed wrists and rolling hips doing down there?

The official Curacao Sharks pool has been the home of Doug Stern workouts for a long time (forever?). I think this is the last workout at that place, since our delightful Lions Dive home is reportedly building a 50 meter tub. To which I say "Really?" and "Great!". If I'm lucky enough to go back next year, there may be a lovely new facility. Nice.

The underwater video stroke analysis is a fun part of any Boris reality experience. Studly video man, right there.

If you are lucky enough to have a madly supportive spouse/fan along, your skills might merit a "10" on the deck.

But Boris is lurking with bad news that this is uncool and that is unimpressive. It's weird the way the video shows huge flaws that you are sure are not happening. That's why we are there, right? To confront inadequacy. OK, not really. Yes, but, can that possibly be me dragging my legs so far down? Ack ptooey!

It's pretty thrilling to charge out through that opening in the channel that runs by the Lions Dive beach into the bounding main. I think I wrote about that last year, but there was kind of an epic run through there this time, probably into 4 ft surf, which doesn't sound like a lot until you're pinched in between the reef organisms.

No pictures of that but the sea lions seemed to honk in approval. Or derision. It's always hard for me to tell the difference.

Western Curacao Is a Great Place to Bike Ride
It is unrealistic to expect any island paradise to remain underdeveloped especially when there is a casino-choked sister island *cough*Aruba*cough* not 40 miles away. Even 3 years ago the bike ride out to distant parts of the island was largely devoid of much traffic. So, no train of bikes through historic Willemstad this time. Instead, let's have a large assemblage of bikes at the flamingo sanctuary.

You might know, if you have been there, about the cliff jumping at Westpunt. It's out by that place where you have the beach picnic, Knip. Sam likes to have some Clif blocks after an impromptu jump. Off the Clif. My literary symbolism, as I have said, is deep and mysterious, you know.


Nothing has changed regarding Remy's succulent fish/chicken lunch at Knip. Please do not tell him that I slathered the fish in the peanut sauce and loved it. He will not let me partake in the future if he knows that. I'm serious. Dude gets an icy scowl when I even ask. OK, not really. More like a friendly warning. Ahem.


You have your gathering of beach people.





Out in the water are sea creatures.












To all of those who were waiting for a few of us to return from a moray quest, I offer a humble apology. Especially to Sam, whose Clif blocks may not have agreed with her.

You Never Know What Will Happen at Lions Dive



There are important questions to ponder, like how frequently a dude should shave his legs. Yes, that is exactly what we are pondering here. I am not, as they say, making this up.



More sea creatures to perplex Judy at the bar.





Speaking of perplexing things, Deb is puzzled by the message of the bench back. We think that is a massive pacifier on the right. The other two things, not sure. It must be an algebra test.

When the transitive property is applied to the next equation, she realizes that the middle thing must be a silhouette of a new style of toothpaste and that the footprints cancel out. This leaves us with a Q.E.D. translated to a toothpaste ad that means "Try our toothpaste and you will love it on an enormous pacifier." Cryptic yet elegant. We are very proud to have figured this out. Fibonacci, eat your heart out.




A good ER doc always knows how to improvise with duct tape. Sure, I can fix my bike case with that says Deb.


Tracy and Basil read the Dutch newspaper to everyone at breakfast.




What was said before this photo:"Do something weird over Don's head, Deb"
What Deb did: Definitely weird.




Pirate Ships Are Still Cool!


Yes give me a pirate ship cruise anyday. You have trapeze swinging and group somersaults off the starboard (Heard from the Famous Author: "What is this peculiar pathology you all seem to have that manifests in your jumping off of things?")

There is picture posing with beautiful women, if you are as lucky as Don.

It's cool to take pictures of people looking at pictures. At least that's what I think.

The Green Flash Definitely Happened

Yes, the conditions were just right one night and Your Humble Bloggist observed the green flash for the first time. So did a bunch of other people who are showing their happiness about the green flash here.

OK so last year's astronomical conjecture in the blog entry proved to be B.S. I admit that and accept culpability. But the green flash really did happen that night. Why? It has to do with the Law of Chromatic Aberration, whereby green light is the most refracted and therefore survives the longest as the edge of the sun dips through the prism-like atmosphere. Sound right? Good. Because I just now made it up. Not the Law of Chromatic Aberration. That happens to be real.

The Official Large Land Grant University Alma Mater of Your Humble Bloggist was well-reprented at Sternapalooza. If you play the video, you will see a flash of a different variety. Decidedly not green or heliological.





The Big Finish

Let me tell you why this rainbow happened....

...Doug Stern ordered it for us.