June 25, 2007
I was composing this post in draft today, as a little snapshot of life with teenagers and a goodbye to our canine friend Rusty, when I heard of the loss of Doug Stern. I don't think Doug Stern would have minded if I tacked on his passing as #1 of things I don't understand today.
10. Why would a seemingly otherwise intelligent 14-year-old look into the utensil drawer every day and choose a fork for eating Cheerios in milk?
9. Why would a seemingly otherwise intelligent 12-year-old sleep with her head at the foot of the bed every night?
8. Why does whoever is responsible for these things waste electricity by programming this streetlight right down the road to be operating round the clock?
7. Why does "blog" come up in
polls of the most annoying internet words? Fine word, blog. You might remember that I do not like "blogger", though.
6. Why is the heavenly mixture of iced tea and lemonade called an Arnold Palmer?
5. What kind of teenager does this: At a family adventure race, the first task is to do a Newlywed Game style quiz, only parent and child. Favorite food, least fave chore etc...so question 6 is What is the child's most prized posession? Child's answer: HER SHAKESPEARE ACTION FIGURE !?!?!?!?!?!
4. Why do so many people writing emails, forum posts and other internet chatter use apostrophes to make plurals? Or should I say apostrophe's to make plural's? Sorry, but I just have this thing about grammar and usage. Artwork by Official Youngest Progeny.
3. Why would somebody dump this dog on the side of a busy road in the middle of summer 1999? He was named Rusty, after the flatulent horse on Seinfeld. Honestly, Rusty was not really a great pet. I think he had OCD and anti-social borderline personality disorder myself. Something like the canine equivalent anyway. Nonetheless, when an Official Animal Companion of Sir Charles dies, as Rusty did last week, the St. John-Smythe household is never the same. Your Humble Bloggist now possesses the only Y chromsome in said household.
2. The stroke in swimming called freestyle? Isn't really freestyle at all. There are rules.
SWIMMING STROKE RULES (From the FINA Rule Book)
FREESTYLE
SW 5.1 Freestyle means that in an event so designated the swimmer may swim any style, except that in individual medley or medley relay events, freestyle means any style other than backstroke, breaststroke or butterfly.
SW 5.2 Some part of the swimmer must touch the wall upon completion of each length and at the finish.
SW 5.3 Some part of the swimmer must break the surface of the water throughout the race, except it shall be permissible for the swimmer to be completely submerged during the turn and for a distance of not more than 15 metres after the start and each turn. By that point, the head must have broken the surface
Can't swim underwater for more than 15 meters? WHY NOT?????? It's supposed to be freestyle!
1. Speaking of swimming and losing beings that mean something to you....How can a man as vital and strong as Doug Stern be consumed so quickly by a beastly cancer? Not five months ago I wrote about him down there in the Sternapalooza post. Maybe you read it. Shockingly, the news of his illness hit us soon after I wrote all of that happy stuff.
The memory of him that still gives me goosebumps is the day on the island when I was in the pool breathing to the left so I could see him on the deck (I hate breathing to the left). Usually there were so many things wrong with what I was doing that he didn't know which flaw to gesture to me. Well this time I saw him pointing at me--first breath OK sign, second breath big nod, third breath the touchdown sign. It was like I had just made my own dad proud of me. I'm not sure I really cared after a while whether I was swimming any faster, as long as my stroke mechanics pleased our Svengali of svimming, ahem. Doug Stern was a man who inspired us, whose advice helped us, who showed us how to swim and a little about how to live. We who were lucky enough to know him will miss Doug Stern terribly.
Here's what I wrote about Curacao, Doug Stern-style 2007, which now seems like it took place eons ago.
Doug Stern will give you his thoughts on life on the last bus trip. Listen to them; they're really good. Life is indeed not a dress rehearsal. You get one kick at the cat, I think is the saying. Brothers and sisters, that's no lie.
Earlier today, I was swimming, kicking the cat you know, and I got to remembering the man with the orange swim cap charging through the roiling opening of the channel into the lagoon down on that island, facing his fears by jumping off that cliff at West Point, and in particular one of the funny shtiks he had. At times in my life I have been a poetry poseur, a fake writer of verse. Along those lines, I present to you my best effort at a Doug Stern in memoriam haiku:
Remember Doug Stern:
Spoon microphone and keep high
elbows--and spirits
1 comment:
I too have a great OK-sign memory of Doug, from the last meeting of the level one swim clinic this spring. It was just after his surgery and he was totally in pain and in neck brace and stuff, but of course he came to class anyway, he wanted to see how we were all doing. We got videoed for form, and then we did the "how many lengths in 10 minutes" swim. My form I must say was particularly dire that day, and by that point in the class he was in enough pain that as he looked at what I was doing he just threw his hands up in the air in despair! But I did a really good job with the 10-minute swim, just really swam to the utmost of my ability, no stopping at the wall and probably eight or nine lengths further than I'd done six weeks earlier--and as I finished the last length he was just BEAMING at me and making the a-OK hand sign. One of the many ways in which he was a great teacher is that he could really tell when you were doing your utmost! I am pained that I knew him for such a short time, but lucky that it was so long.
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